Author Archives: Rich

PEOWW 2.0 comes to an end.

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Hello, Loves!

Well that was fun.  A bonus month of unfuckwittable PEOWW sex in your mouth.  We came to get our revenge on the games industry that murdered our families and left us disfigured but it seems the games industry has eaten itself and shat out nothing but cunts.

We’re off to get in our day-glo flying alien Chevy Malibu and try our hand at something new, something different, something that doesn’t have money-hungry publishers and supplicant game sites sucking off PR cunts for a mouthful of the next AAA blockbuster piece of shit.  Something that isn’t ‘free to play’ or full of day one DLC.  Something that isn’t voiced by Nolan North.  Something that isn’t a generic sequel to something we loved ten years ago.  Something that isn’t brought to you by the fucking GMAs or sites give out good reviews based on box art.  Something that isn’t a Peter Molyneux experiment or a fucking Kickstarter.

As ever, everything we did was for our readers, apart from the in-jokes.  They were mostly for the three of us who still play on Live but we hope we gave you a giggle and told you what lemons to avoid.  Or buy!

Thanks for reading, Loves.  PEOWW LOVES YOU ALL.

We’ll be like animals.  Watching you.  From afar.  Rich and PEOWW

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdmOH8bDBF4[/youtube]

Walking Dead final chapter hits today.

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Peoww News

We may hate zombies, point and click games and anything with moral choices in it, but fucking hell we love The Walking Dead.  The fifth and final chapter is released today and we’ll be gobbling it up hungrily like it’s a freshly baked brain pie.

The other parts came out during the PEOWW HIATUS but we’ll look to review the entire thing once we’ve beaten the final chapter.  Preview:  it’s going to score very highly.  Rich

Idiots parted with lots of money.

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Peoww News

The latest in the Call of Duty series, Black Ops II, has generated a little news and fuck it, it’s a slow news day and I can sneak out a quick story without any pictures.

Turns out that Treyarch’s latest Ross Kemp ’em up made like $500 million in 24 hours.  Like, seriously.  What the fuck?  The fourth biggest launch of all-time.  People clearly have forgotten that Treyarch are the poor relations in this franchise.

Oh and Black Ops Declassified is the second biggest Vita launch title ever.  Despite this.  Rich

Ask Giant Minecraft Dyer #4: Halo 4

Microsoft’s flagship shooter series, Halo, returning for a fourth outing, one of our readers Kirsty from Penryn asks Hello Mammoth Stony Dyer. My question to you is with Halo 4, have 343 taken the Bungie legacy and made it epic or is it simply an epic fail? And can you explain in laymans terms how 343 being ‘an internal Microsoft group’ is different to Bungie also owned by Microsoft?

The Dyer

A mucker of mine told me to play Halo, so I gave it a go. It was all aliens and science fiction. What am I? Some sort of numberbod?

If I’m going to start shooting up a joint, it’d better be a bank. Know what I mean?

As for 343 and The Bungie Legacy. I don’t facking know. I started watching the first one but Matt Damon does my facking nut in. I don’t know who the geezer is to be fair. They should have got me or my Dad, Ray Winstone, to play that part.

I hate Star Wars.

 

PES 2013 gets a fucking Facebook app.

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Peoww News

Konami have announced that PES 2013 is to get a Facebook app that allows the game to bring in all sorts of social networking features such as creating private leagues and a whole heap of stat-tracking.  All this despite the fact that no-one is playing PES anymore and indeed no-one plays football games anymore since Chelsea went and spoiled football by fluking the Champions League.

So, basically, what we are saying is fuck off, Konami.  Yes, fuck off.  Literally, fuck off the most ever.  Rich

PEOWW is FIVE.

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Peoww News

Has it really been five years?  Well yes actually.  Five years ago today, we uploaded the fuck out of our Space Giraffe review and that was that.  Three billion reviews later and we’re back on your so-called internet.  We’re not sure how long this current CONTENT EXPLOSION will go on for so enjoy PEOWWvember because you’ll miss us when we’re dead.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

It starts with Blackwood. It ends with Blackwood.