Eating ain't cheating.

Bungie have confirmed what we all knew.  A lot of Halo players are pricks.  Anyway, they are reset the credit scores of 15,000 Halo: Reach players known to have used an in-game exploit to cheat those scores.

“We are in the process of applying credit resets to approximately 15,000 users who we have identified as the most egregious Challenge Reset abusers,” Judge Bungie explains.  They go on to say “A more comprehensive pass will be occuring in the coming week as our automated Banhammer mechanisms grow accurate enough to satisfy our high bar for burden of proof. If you are thinking about getting an easy 50k credits by using this exploit, I would strongly advise you to reconsider.”

Hahahahahahaha (racist) hahahahaha (fucking puppet)

After literally much ado about fuck all, EA have decided to rename the Taliban faction in Medal of Hono(u)r to ‘Opposing Force’.  Executive producer Greg Goodrich didn’t actually admit that he did it because of Fox News and various other whining cunts moaning about dead soldiers or something, instead he says it was done purely out of respect.  Which is completely believable.

But let us not forget one crucial detail.  They’ve changed the name but you still get to shoot yank soldiers in the face.  So what is different?  More importantly, who gives a fuck?  Do military bases out in these warzones even have consoles?   And isn’t CODBLOPS coming out soon which will entirely invalidate this game anyway?

Norm!

Robert ‘Bobby’ Kotick, the man who turned Activision into the games company of the devil, has been kicking off at anyone who’ll listen about EA and Tim Schafer.  Of EA (the second most anti-gamer company after Actingthecuntivision) he says “Great people don’t want to work there.  It’s like, if you have no other option, you might consider them.”

Harsh but he’s mainly pissed of that Infinity Ward, the company that used to make Call of Duty games (the good ones) for him, have formed a new company called Respawn Entertainment who will now be making generic as fuck FPS tedium for EA instead of him and his posse of evil marketing men.

Of Schafer, the man behind the Monkey Island games and Activision’s own Brutal Legend, he says “it turns out, he was late, he missed every milestone, the game was not a particularly good game”.  Which is of course entirely accurate (Brutal Legend was shit after all).  Still, he’s clearly not out to make any friends.

Sacked yet?

Football Manager can fuck off.  I’m still bitter about a bug that ruined two seasons of pure promotion magic by making my entire team hate me because of a pay rise or some shit like that.  As such, I’m never playing another one again.

However, another one will be out soon.  FM2011 as it’s known will offer more tedious micromanagement for those of you who dream about getting a dull admin job with fuck off spreadsheets.  Annoyingly though it will auto-tweet all your progress, meaning that Twitter will now be full of made up football news.  We already block all the Raptr notifications but this is set to make things even worse.  Piss.

Pay your stumpy dues.

Sinister.  Sony’s latest PS3 update now causes some third party joypads to stop working, presumably as an answer to the USB mod that allows you to pirate a bunch of games that you’ll never play anyway.  That’s not a huge worry as the majority of third party controllers are literally horrific.

But there’s more.  Sony’s own Consumer Alert says “It is possible that some counterfeit product may ignite or explode, resulting in injury or damage to the user, your PlayStation3 computer entertainment system, or other property.”

Ignite or explode?  We don’t want to see what happens if you plug a Poundland Move controller in.  Cats and dogs living together presumably.

Twenty minutes into the future.

Lionhead’s decidedly sketchy grooming simulator is heading into cancel-o-rumour territory.  Nineteen contractors hired to make the unconvincingly demoed at E3 virtual human thing have now been reallocated to the Fable 3 project instead.

Lionhead and Microsoft have responded with “we do not respond to rumours” which doesn’t really clear things up much.

Still, Milo was the singularity.  Skynet was next.  Enjoy your extra time on this planet.  Every day since the cancellation of Milo is a gift.

Never.

This Kinect thing.  It’s going to be completely lame.  It’s also going to be made available to Indie Games developers.  This is easily the most uninteresting thing we could report.  In fact right now I feel bad about it.  The worst thing is, a while back the XBLIG scene started showing promise with several good games hitting all within a month of each other.

I need to spin a good ending though.  How about this?  At least they can’t make any massage apps for it.  You’d better get used to the idea of waving at zombies though.