Ask Giant Minecraft Dyer #5: Football Manager

Some fucking absolute media ponce got me on the blower and started mugging me off with questions about PC games.

Thinking about needlessly dropping all my hard earned on the new Championship Manager: Spreadsheet Edition loot crate. Should I?” – @twotafkap

The Dyer

Look.  I love football as much as the next geezer.  I’ve been to almost 23 football matches and I’m best known for playing Thomas ‘Tommy’ Bickleswaite in the film ‘Footy Fugz’ (now streaming on Crackle).

I love nuffin more than going to White Hart Park and watching my beloved West Hamwich on a Saturday afternoon but playing fucking football management games?

How does one quantify the heterogeneous characteristics of the modern football professional using an arbitrary scoring system based on values of twenty or less?  LIKE A FUCKING SERIAL NONCEOPHILE IS HOW.

Football ain’t about numbers.  It’s about having a right fucking tear up with Millwall when it’s all about to come on top and all you’ve got is a pool cue and your fucking bollocks.  50,000 of them.  Ten of us.  All top boys.

Anyway, here’s a video of Jasper Sutcliffe’s winning goal in the 1985 Spandex Cup.


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