Mini Review – Pure Football

Football/Five-a-side

Poor Football mer like.

Rich

Taking on the behemoths, FIFA and PISS – I mean PES, on at football is a bit like making a handheld in the ’80s that wasn’t a Gameboy.  Stupid and it’ll fuck you financially.  Luckily those kings of inconsistent quality, Ubisoft, have chosen the predictable arcadey, five-a-side form of the beautiful game.  Taking on FIFA Street, which is a much safer bet.

Disclaimer: Promo screenshots may not (read: will not) be indicative of in-game graphics.'

For a game called Pure Football, this couldn’t be any more of a corruption of the game (unless it was suddenly bought by Roman Abramovic).  Shooting is unaffected by the body position of your players, fouls are mostly ignored until you do too many which automatically concedes a penalty regardless of where the final tackle occurs (!), all of the players look like cadavers and awful rock music plays during the matches.

A mildly diverting campaign mode proves to be fun for a while though, outclassing the frankly risible FIFA Street series, and upgrading your captain while unlocking new team-mates keeps you playing for a while.  Basically, what I’m saying is if you buy this game for £40 quid then you deserve what you get.  For the current price of £15 (in many places anyway) it’s possibly worth a punt.  Or possibly not.  Probably not actually.

4/10

Richie went on about this at True Achievements. Enjoy it before it gets voted down by fanboys.