Details of Sega's upcoming Aliens game have been revealed and at least two members of the Peoww team are literally covered in some sort of secreted resin.
Essential details. Set on the Sulaco, squad-based and includes four player co-op. It's literally going to be amazing. It has to be.
Fenix to return?
Gears 2 'this November'.
Gears of War, possibly the greyest thing this side of Poland, is rather unsuprisingly getting a sequel. It's coming out in November, two years after the original 'Emergence Day' (their words not mine).
Fans of joyless achievements, horrible ranked matches, glitch exploitation and overall chav gaming will be in raptures. 'OMG SHOTGUN NOOB!' etc etc etc.
Aeroshit.
Guitar Hero: Activision.
Aerosmith, who have two very shit guitarists, are going to get their own full Guitar Hero title.
Still, it'll probably be quite an easy game seeing as how every Aerosmith song from the last twenty years has been a fucking powerballad.
I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Your love is sweet misery
I was cryin' just to get you
Now I'm dyin' cause I let you
Do what you do to me
Jesus fucking (with a G) Christ, LORD. Why do you tolerate this aboration on your planet?
Fuck off Aerosmith. Just literally fuck off.
You too Activision. Take fucking Tony Hawk with you as well.
A fat lady.
It's not over until...
Think you've maxed out that 360 game? Think again. This week has been full of extra achievements for you to shell out for. Microsoft, please... in the name of all that is holy... please fuck right off.
Oh well, here's the latest bunch...
Gripshift (the fantastic game that no-one bought). 350 pts for three new achievements (plus subgames and tracks).
Overlord (Overlol). 800 pts for ten new achievements (single player content plus an extra 400 pts for some multiplayer shit that thankfully is without new achievements).
PGR4. 400 pts for ten achievements (yawn).
Does GTA let you throw cars at folk?
The Crack-I-Ps.
Whilst the world waits for GTA4 to surface so they can spend weeks plodding around the gaming equivalent of a Steven Seagal movie, fans of fun games will be delighted to know that Crackdown may be getting a sequel.
Microsoft's Shane Kim said all this '"We own the Crackdown intellectual property. We have a great partnership with Real Time Worlds, and they're pursuing a different path from a company perspective... any intellectual property that we own can always be on the table and the good news is that we happen to own the Crackdown IP'.
In case you missed it. Microsoft own the Crackdown IP. Just in case it wasn't clear that Microsoft own the Crackdown IP.
Directed at Sony presumably.
Capello bans the PS3!
Capello, in that lovely way that anyone over fifty loves to generalise gaming, has banned England players from using Playstations. We'll assume he means games in general although I bet if you get Ashley Cole and David James rooming together they'll fire up some two player Slitherlink.
Peoww can't help thinking that if McClaren had allowed his midfield to play SWOS we may have strung together some passes against Croatia...
If Torres can't have us no-one can.
Gamespot Editor wants a second chance.
In relationship terms, Gamespot cheated on their partner, got them fired from their job, drowned their cat, shat in the sock drawer, gave them herpes and replaced all their At The Drive-In CDs with Westlife ones. This was when they sacked one of their reviewers for having the temerity to suggest that Kane & Lynch was a bit gash after Gamespot had plastered promotional images of the game all over their site.
But Ricardo Torres, Gamespot's new editor, has stated that he wants all the readers to give them a second chance... "I want to make the site better, I want to regain that trust people have lost in us – those that are willing to give us a chance. For some people it's 'never again,' and that's fine. If people want to walk away and just not trust the site, that's their right. But those that are willing to give it a shot, just keep an eye on things, because I think there's a lot of potential here still."
In related news we'll be sacking Mark for giving Kane & Lynch 4 out of 10 when in fact it's a tour-de-force and the single most important game since Pacman.
An orange box pictured yesterday.
EA to split Orange Box.
Orange Box, the PC one rather than the fun one, is getting split up by EA into easy digestable chunks at a less appetising price.
Considering that the 360 version should only really cost you £25 quid these days, it looks like EA are splitting the PC version three ways with the best bit, Portal, possibly costing £15. Which takes the piss a little. But then I only use my PC to type these bits up so I don't massively care.
Hetfield is pissed off.
Rumour: Mercs 2 delayed til August.
The long-awaited sequel to Mercenaries, one of the best sandbox games ever, has apparently slipped from February to August according to Amazon and Gamestop.
This is, of course, horrible news and is taking our 'respect for EA' meter down to pre-Skate levels once again.
Nintendo's license to print money.
Nintendo Wiipes the floor with the competition.
Unsurprisingly the Wii has now overtaken the 360 in the UK for hardware sales and now has a 45% market share. This would of course have happened a lot sooner if Ninty could shove them into Argos stores as they are seemingly now as popular with UK residents as Westlife records, Crocs shoes and benefit cheques.
