Bioshock, the "Game Of The Year" that no-one can be arsed to play, is getting a slab of downloadable content for all you people who couldn't be bothered trading it in for something better.
New content will include extra plasmids, a way to disable Vita-Chambers for hardcore play, and bug fixes including a wide-screen update.
Langham is back.
Ruin my gamerscore, Doctor!
Valve's 'Orange Box' is about to receive a handful of medic-based Team Fortress 2 achievements.
The names have been revealed ('House Call', 'Chief Of Staff', 'Hypocritical Oath' and 'Infernal Medicine') and they will allow you to max the game up to an annoying 1036 gamerpoints.
This surely means that other classes will soon follow suit.
Some sort of game allegedly...
EA: Mobile games outselling PS3 ones.
Yep, despite the standard mobile phone being no more a games machine than my shoes are, it turns out that EA's mobile phone games are more profitable than their PS3 ones.
Here's how the last quarter has broken down for them;
Seriously Sony... why are you even bothering anymore?
An example of the sweet
poontang GameFAQers can't get.
Being able to shout 'GO PLAY FIFA!' won't win you a woman.
GameFAQs the gaming world's most useful, but most overpopulated with twats, site has
never been scared to ask the hard questions. In their latest poll, Has a video game ever cost you a relationship?,
38% percent of their frankly terrifying userbase revealed they'd never had a relationship.
So as a heads-up to any Peoww readers who have ended up on the shelf remember to keep 'Hey baby, need a hand finding the hidden flags on Assassin's Creed' out of your list of chat-up lines.
Yes it is a slow news week.
The long-awaited Gary Glitter and The Jam collaboration coming soon.
Old Romantics Hate New Romantics In Guitar Hero
Harmonix may have though they left the Guitar Hero franchise behind them for EA’s Rock Band only to be named in a law suit filled by 80’s band The Romantics. They claim the cover version of their song 'What I Like About You' featured on Guitar Hero: Rock the 80’s is so close to the original that it is "virtually indistinguishable from the authentic version" and fools players into thinking that they are hearing the original version. As well as seeking damages from Activision, Harmonix and RedOctane they are also hoping to stop any further distribution of the game. Given how notoriously bad the Guitar Hero cover versions have been in the past perhaps should just let it go?
Wayne Rooney signs for the Reavers.
Blood Bowl lines up for home consoles.
Jervis Johnson’s tabletop strategy-cum-gridiron carnage game Blood Bowl is heading
to the DS, PSP and XBLA next year courtesy of Cyanide studios and Games Workshop. This
adaptation of GW’s best game (Fuck off with Warhammer and 40K) should touchdown
late 2008 but it remains unclear if it will be a turn based dice and miniature
strategy game or if it will be more of a real time, action sports title. Along
with Capcom’s version of Talisman for Xbox Live ’08 is looking good for fans of
GW games. Now, who can do Chainsaw Warrior?
Ooer... I don't fancy yours much.
Can you play one-handed?
Suicide Girl rejects the Frag Dolls are looking for gamers to play with on Friday nights
in partnership with Ubisoft Games. So if you have an Xbox Live gold account and no self-respect
then send your email to xlmail@microsoft.com with your gamertag and list of turn on and turn offs.
Mess it up, Codemasters, and die.
SWOS 'coming in November'!
The world's greatest ever football game has finally been passed to Microsoft's certification
department which means we'll apparently be seeing it this month. Even with our morbid
certainty that they'll mess up the controls, speed and online aspects of the game we can't help
but be giddy with the prospect of having it back in our lives.
It's still not soon enough for our liking but at least we've got 'quality' XBLA games to play
like 'Shitjumper', 'Shrek - Twat and Roll' and that Word Puzzle thing that doesn't even warrant a snidey renaming.
The Holy Grail?
Sony Rumbled
Despite Sony's previous insistance that it would never happen because of it being both
technically impossible and prohibitively expensive (*cough* PS3 *cough*), they've now announced
their Dual Shock 3 controller which, incredibly enough, combines rumble (the feature everyone
wanted) and motion sensing (the feature nobody uses).
Amusingly, the design remains the same as the Dual Shock 2 and uses the exact same rumble technology
rather than Immersion's new 'Body Vibrator Deluxe Stimulator 2000' technology. Sony clearly don't
want to shell out any more money to Immersion especially since they were made to wear a short skirt
and make up for Immersion's Vern Schillinger.
Ha... how much must Sony hate them right now?
I've got a headache... IN MY PANTS!
REZ coming to Xbox Live Arcade!
Fans of Tetsuya Mizuguchi's whatever-em-up classic 'Rez' get ready to wank yourself into a happy coma.
It's coming to XBLA in 2008 which makes 2007 our most hated year EVER.
Of course being from Q Entertainment, the software house that brought Lumines to XBLA, it'll probably
cost 1200 points.
