Peter Moore.

Peoww's favourite embodiment of 'supreme vampiric evil', Peter Moore has marked the Xbox 360's achievement of overtaking the total sales of the original Xbox by spouting out this bollocks.

At times, our games have been too hard. We need to make our titles much more approachable and accessible to the new consumer."

Which translates as 'we want some of that Wii pie'. Just as we were beginning to like EA as well...

Frank to return?

Sources close to Canadian developer Blue Castle have revealed that they are working on the sequel to Capcom's fantastic Dead Rising. Blue Castle themselves are describing the project as 'something amazing' and are currently hiring staff to work on it.

It's not all good news though as the original game was developed in-house by Capcom using people who worked on the Resident Evil games among others. Blue Castle have so far developed a couple of baseball games. Suffice to say I hope there's a fire in their Vancouver studio and that the project gets moved back to the insanely talented Japanese developers who made the first one.

Chubby-faced twat.

The world's most overrated band, The Beatles, will soon be appearing on Rock Band 2 thanks to a deal signed with the band's publisher Apple Corp. This is of course massively uninteresting due to the fact that The Beatles wrote nursery-rhyme standard tunes unless they were doing their pretentious 'ooh we're on acid' thing.

Quite how their brand of laughable musicianship will translate to Rock Band 2, I can't say but if you can't complete any of their songs on 'expert' difficulty on the first attempt, kill yourself.

Army of Two.

EA's Army of Two was pretty good but didn't really live up to expectations thanks to it's clunky gameplay and cringeworthy dialogue but that's not stopping EA confirming a sequel is in the works and that a movie is getting made based on the two stupidest characters since Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys.

It'll be piss-awful, of course, but is being penned by one of the writers of the Bourne Ultimatum which is something I guess. Anyway, look out for what can only be a jingoistic assault on your intelligence next year. Probably in 'the fall' or something.

Little.

Sony's long-awaited experimental platformer LittleBigPlanet's Oct 24th release date is set to slip into November because 'one of the background music tracks licensed from a record label for use in the game contains two expressions that can be found in the Qur'an'. A tad irksome for those of you daft enough to buy a PS3.

Anyway, insert your own comment whilst I back away slowly...

Team Win.

Rumour has it that EA are set to announce a sequel to Syndicate and Syndicate Wars. Little is known at this point but Chronicles of Riddick developer Starbreeze are likely to be at the helm.

It'd be more exciting if Syndicate Wars hadn't been so poor but even so, this news is welcome as we'd love to get some Steampunk action right across the chops. Watch this space.

Hateful.

PES6 on the Xbox 360 was shit. Fact. So when PES2008 was announced Seabass, the series creator, announced that the game would be remade from the ground up and would feature new AI, better gameplay and solid online play.

It was dogshit. The same old tired PES formula with even more bugs and glitches than before and, quite literally, fucked online play. I hated it so much that the 4/10 review I gave it seems at least two points too high.

Well, predictably, Seabass has admitted the game was horseshit and that next week's PES2009 will fix all those problems and that this will be a much better game. The demo is out and is the same shit as before. Rubbish AI, rubbish keepers, sluggish gameplay. The online may end up being better but the hateful cunts who play PES online will soon will only play with the best club anyway so it'll be dull as pisswater.

Expect our review in two weeks.

Adam's Apple remains well-covered.

The new DS is on its way and, much like the new PSP hardware upgrade, new features and functionality has been kept to a minimum and new anti-piracy measures have been brought in.

The new PSP is currently described as 'unhackable' and the 'DSi' will now have region-locked games so fans of Jap imports will be left out in the cold.

So not good news then, especially as the DS really didn't need to get any shitter.

Kidd > Knievel.

Firstly, the PEOWW verdict on the bikes pack? Any amount of M$Ps would have been too much considering that the bikes are gash and the game is unplayable at night.

Anyway, PS3 owners rejoice. Burnout Paradise now has trophies (the PS3 equivalent of achievements).

Unfortunately, don't think all those road rules, showtimes and burning routes count. The trophies aren't added retrospectively. Shame, me loves!

Change is bad.

Here at Peoww we fear change. And midgets. And flies that are bigger than onions.

But that's what we're going to get. Change and lots of it with Microsoft's new dashboard update for the 360. I dunno, it seemed kind of interesting a few months back but everything did then. We were looking forward to Too Human, Mercenaries 2 and all those Capcom remakes and you know how that all turned out. Like a novel written by Jordan and it's not even inked in her blood.

But now everyone (read: me) is cynical and you know the update is going to suck and just slow everything down. The avatars are literally going to be a joint injection of 'stupid' and 'pointless' directly into your psyche and the 'party chat' will probably make your games run marginally less well than the paralympic basketball team.

Anyway, expect some downtime on the 29th in preparation for the update.

Looking good.

Right, listen. It won't be good. It'll be alright, it'll be quite impressive by DS standards but don't expect anything other than a square peg in the circular hole that is the DS.

So is it 2D or 3D? Well... let's party like it's literally 1999 because it'll be cel-shaded and isometric. On the plus side, you'll be able to restart failed missions from the mission itself not the phone box or whatever where you got the call.

GTA: Chinatown Wars will be out this year (apparently). Expect review from a more interested PEOWWster.

BuLOLt For My VaLOLtine.

Guitar Hero World Tour's setlist reveals a shift back from the rock-centric roster of Guitar Hero 3 to the mincey indie/emo shite of Guitar Hero 2.

Coldplay, 30 Seconds To Mars, Modest Mouse and R.E.M. are all present and incorrect and the 'original recordings' suggest that the bosses this time will be Zakk Wylde (sort your fucking name out) and redneck favourite Ted Nugent.

Hendrix, At The Drive-in and Van Halen's 'Hot For Teacher' are all on there though. So it's not all bad.

Disgrace.

What the hell is up with Australia? For a nation of convicts they certainly get a bit precious about things don't they?

Now they've decided that Fallout 3 simply cannot be released because of some real-life drug references. So they've been taken out, worldwide. First the Olympics, now this. Australia need to get good. Fast.

Not that any of this changes the fact that Fallout 3 is going to rock your face clean off your body.

It's still funny.

Everyone's favourite spreadsheet, Football Manager, is about to get yet another sequel which will presumably let you pick the colour of the seats on the team bus. This won't be making it to the 360 though on account of it being just 'far too complex'.

Sports Interactive are looking at ways of dumbing it down though, apparently using games like Civilisation Revolution as their inspiration.

Expect it to be completely frog stupid then..

Still not worth it.

If you take a look at the 'New Arrivals' section on Xbox Live Marketplace you'll see a bunch of 'not new at all' things clogging up the menus. This is because Microsoft have dropped some DLC prices until October.

The highlights are Shivering Isles at the still stupid price of 1600M$P (£13.60) and a reduction on the cost of dire fucking shit on Guitar Hero 3 such as the Def Leppard and Foo Fighters track packs.

There is also a reduction in cost on some of the Beautiful Katamari DLC but that still seems like a con considering it's already on the disc. Hopefully the reduction will create a butterfly effect that will utterly bankrupt Namco and will lead to the resignation and suicide of their board of directors.

Om nom nom nom.

Namco haven't been exactly subtle about ripping gamers off in recent times with their, frankly twattish, downloadable content but they've excelled themselves this time with their J-RPG, Tales of Vesperia.

Any RPG involves a fair amount of farming and grinding. RPG fans aren't strangers to that at all but Namco have given you to option to skip that process with this new content.

* LV Up +10 (1) 300 Microsoft Points
* LV Up +5 (1) 200 Microsoft Points
* 300,000 Gold (1) 300 Microsoft Points
* Skill sets 80 Microsoft Points
* HP Recovery Cuisine Recipe Set 100 Microsoft Points

The work of bastards? I think so. Further investigation of Namco's cunty ways can be found here.

A-number 1.

Duke Nukem 3D, a game so vastly better than Doom it hurts, is coming to XBLA within the next month or so which is great news. Even better is the new feature that lets you record matches and upload them as 'saved films'.

This could lead to all sorts of online humiliation. SWEET!

Less tasty is the new 'rewind time' feature which sounds like some crowbarred-in shit to me. Peoww shall be reserving judgement on that until we see it in action. Even so, DUKE ON XBLA!!!

Sony am cry.

Namco may be the absolute bastard Hitlers of gaming these days but you've got to love them for this. Their latest J-RPG, Tales of Vesperia, is fuelling sales of the 360 and producing sales figures like this.

Nintendo DS - 60,434
PSP - 58,501
Wii - 38,506
Xbox 360 - 24,962
PlayStation 3 - 9,673
PlayStation 2 - 8,503

It won't last but it's making us laugh for now anyway.

Burton has spoken.

Rare's senior programmer, Nick Burton, has suggested that no Rare IP is dead and that even the most obscure titles could be resurrected by the UK gaming legends.

He's suggested that you could have, for example, "Killer Instinct meets Battletoads in the GoldenEye universe!". The mischevious little poppet.

Does this mean that even Mire Mare could eventually make an appearance? Does anyone even care? I'm not even sure why Rare even make games these days, I can't remember the last good one.

The face of gaming.

UK supermarket firm Asda have revealed that they intend to aggressively increase its market share in the non-specialist gaming market by branching into pre-owned gaming.

Their strategy was revealed at their annual MVG (music, video, games) conference by Fergal Gara, Asda's MVG General Manager who also intimated that the firm are also considering own-brand games and digital downloads.

It could be good news for gamers as currently ASDA are usually up to £13 cheaper than GAME and Gamestation on new releases and another source of pre-owned games can't be a bad thing. Unlike the very bad thing which is the Elizabeth Duke clad, educationally subnormal fuckwits who go out of their way to nobble me with a trolley everytime I go in for a bag of wine gums.

COMPO!

Following on from Mark's Bond-o-feature, we're giving you a chance to win eight of the games featured.

If you want in, get yo'self all up in our forum for more information.

Blame Aerosmith.

Capcom's Christian Svensson (vice-president of the twelve colonies or whatever overblown title they've given him) has been bleating on about Devil May Cry 4's poor PC sales blaming the whole thing on piracy.

"I know it's getting pirated to hell and back (it was up on torrents literally the day it shipped)."

He's right of course. Nothing is safe on the PC. The only anti-piracy thing that worked was Starforce and that literally killed your CD/DVD drive to do it but maybe this is karma after they took the greatest game of recent times (Resident Evil 4) and gave it the shittest PC port treatment ever. PC gamers don't forget. Unless it's to wash.

Mo Cash, mo problems.

'Games For Windows', Microsoft's version of Xbox Live for PC owners, has recently been made free, probably due to the fact that charging PC owners to play online is arguably the stupidest fucking thing ever to have happened in the world.

This doesn't mean that Xbox 360 owners will be getting Live for free though. According to the 'Soft, "for only a few pounds a month Xbox Live Gold members already get access to the best online gaming network in the industry, the ability to play and watch countless demos and trailers before the rest of the gaming community, and video chat and messaging."

Don't expect this to change unless Sony and Nintendo ever get their online shit together.

Kaz, yesterday.

Despite Microsoft needlessly complicating Live so that it'll steal Sony's thunder, Kaz Hirai (Sony's top gaming executive) has stated that it doesn't matter when their new online experience Home is released.

Home, which gives you a 'living space' to put your photos, mp3s and trophies (achievements essentially but I think that horse has bolted) in so that your friends can visit (read: totally ignore) has been promised for autumn but Kaz' comments indicate that the Sony can wait until a little longer. Even after the two previous delays.

A bit smug for a person who makes a living wapping her bits out in public.

Tera Patrick, professional gobbler of mens' penises and all-round good egg, has been drafted in as a 'special producer' for Saints Row 2, sequel to the fairly well-received, but phenomenally stupid, GTA clone.

Quite what that role will involve I couldn't say but fans of 'gangsta' stylings and pornographic actresses will feel like all their christmases have come (ahem) at once.

Saints Row 2 is going to be utter trash and you know it.

It's going to be amazing.

Game of the decade in waiting, Aliens: Colonial Marines, wasn't shown at E3 leading to speculation that it'll be absolute dogshit.

Randy Pitchford (HA!), Gearbox's president (president? That's a bit grand for the head of a game developer) says that it's really just down to Fox and the restrictions they put on how you market anything featuring their IP.

That's good enough for me. Game of the decade, baby. Mark my words.

E3 is good.

Shigeru Miyamoto, Senior Managing Director of Nintendo (and of course designer of nearly everything good they've ever done), has defended Nintendo's dismal E3 showing by saying that E3 isn't the place to show off proper games (as opposed to Wii Shit or whatever they're putting out these days) because the media are there.

"an opportunity for us to introduce new concepts and new types of play that we intend to bring to the broader audience, particularly because of the media that gathers at E3 now."

I'd have thought a world-reknowned games show, with global media coverage, would be the best place to announce a new game but nevermind.

Algo(re).

Look, I don't care either but that Al Gore gag was too good to waste.

Anyway, Soul Calibur IV's new boy is Algo who has glowing hands and can apparently fly a bit. Still, it hardly makes up for 360 owners not getting Darth Vader does it?

Guitar Freak.

Harmonix, developers of the inexplicably popular game Rock Band, are getting their arses sued by Konami for copyright infringement.

Apparently they are getting uppity because they thought of it all first with their game Guitar Freaks and now they want payola so they can continue to ruin the Pro Evo series or whatever. Apparently Rock Band "infringes its patents relating to musical instruments and a 'musical-rhythm-matching game'."

I hope they win though. Just so I can phone up MB Games. You know... the people who made Simon.

Diablo will rise again.

Get those index fingers ready. Diablo 3 is on it's way.

The next installment of the legendary point and click RPG has been confirmed by Blizzard at the 2008 Worldwide Invitational (whatever that is) and a demo was shown to the audience.

A reason to fire up the old gaming rig again then? Blimey. I wonder if it still works...

Tool

If (read: when) your 360 breaks, all those XBLA games and DLC you've bought cannot be played offline on a new console, unless the licenses are reset to work on your new machine.

Thankfully, Microsoft have now released a tool that lets you do this yourself (once a year though, so save it for when you buy an Elite). This is a great improvement from the previous method which involved making a dozen phonecalls to the absolute fuckwits at Xbox Support, waiting two months, getting told it can't be done, complaining, being told it can be done and then resubmitted all your information again to actually let it happen. Repeat until bored or dead.

Dark Alex (really)

Sony's company president, David Reeves, has revealed that Sony are finally going to do something about that pesky PSP piracy problem of theirs.

"We know about it, we know how it’s done. It sometimes fuels the growth of hardware sales, but on balance we are not happy about it," he weeped before threatening to set his older brother on the pirates.

Quite how he's going to stop the likes of Dark Alex from cracking PSP firmwares, we don't know but we await with complete and total intere... oh look! A cup!

Chuck Rocks

THQ, serial purveyors of stupid wrestling games and various other pieces of crowd-pleasing averageware, are about to redeem themselves with UFC Undisputed... or undefeated.. or something. This follow-up to the mostly unloved UFC games will hit the 360 in 2009.

This means digital Chuck Liddell in your 360 as early as next year. We're assuming this'll require some sort of hardware upgrade or else our 360s won't even have the strength left to show a red ring of death.

Grrrr....

Oh my... I'm not sure I can carry on living in a world where Activision get to ruin everything they touch. Remember Tony Hawk Pro Skater when it used to be good? Or the Spiderman games before Spactivision messed them up?

Well now they're just taking the piss.

In an effort to promote their new 'Isle of Wight' trackpack (500 points to play some fucking horrible shit by The Kaiser Chiefs), they put shitty sticker things on a statue of Jimi Hendrix. To make it look like he didn't play a vintage Stratocaster but rather the cheap plastic piece of shit that passes as a 'guitar controller' these days.

Oh... and a Coldplay trackpack is in the works (I'm not joking). I can't even tell you how much I hate Activision right now.

The ideas factory

John Diamonon, Capcom's associate product manager (the glamour!), revealed to MTV that Capcom make their decisions about what games they port using eBay.

"Sometimes we see games on eBay, and that's how you see what games people are willing to spend $80 on", wittered the silly man before MTV lost interest and went and commissioned another series about Peter Andre or something.

Between the balls

Capcom's eagerly-awaited Commando 3 game hits XBLA next week (hopefully erasing all memory of the risible Assault Heroes 2) and is yours for 800pts.

It clearly won't be as good as Mercs (aka Commando 2) but it comes with a beta version of the hi-def Super Street Fighter 2 remake which will need to improve on the horrible SF2 port that we've already got on XBLA.

They'd better not change Fei Long's stage music either or we'll be dragon-punching Capcom in their fucking mush!

Red Alert PS3

Red Alert 3, the proposed sequel to the ludicrously entertaining Command & Conquer game, will not be coming to the PS3 as EA have decided to 'concentrate resources' on the 360 and PC versions.

Now that's probably doing PS3 owners a favour as the game will no doubt feature stupid hamfisted controls for the console port but even so it seems a bit strange, no?

Tit

To be honest I'd rather smoke a DS than play it (this = subject to change when Rhythm Tengoku Gold comes out) but quit-smoking guru Allan Carr (not the one pictured here) has returned from the grave with a DS game (like some wierd lifestyle/gaming Tupac) that promises to help you quit smoking.

It's things like this that make the DS so utterly awful. When will we, as a species, learn our lesson?

The power of PS3

Following on from the huge (read: uninteresting) announcement of a Bioshock movie, we now hear that the "OMG BEST GAME OF 2007" (apart from GRAW2, EDF, Two Worlds, Crackdown and about four hundred other games I could mention) is due to get a PS3 release.

New features and content are promised or something. Probably a new 'reduce detail and framerate' feature and 'enhanced hard-drive installation'.

Street Trace

Four seperate bits of XBLA news for you that can only mean one thing.

One: Xbox Live Arcade games can now be upto 350mb in size which will allow for "bigger and better" games. According to some lying twat at Microsoft.

Two: The price limit for XBLA games has be upped to 1600 points in order to reflect the "bigger and better" games. Such as this week's "bigger and better" RPG title 'Penny Arcade'. Which clocks in at an Oblivion-worrying five (count 'em) hours. That's almost three quid an hour.

Three: Old XBLA games that scored less than 65% on Metacritic will be delisted. Thankfully, the mighty Space Giraffe survives by an appalling three percent but other games such as Texas Hold 'Em, Time Pilot, Track and Field, Mad Tracks, Arcadian Warriors, Rush N Attack, Double Dragon, Yie Ar Kung Fu, Scramble and other good games could feasibly be up for the chop.

You'll get three months warning and then they are gone forever.

Four: Microsoft are forming their own XBLA developer team.

Sounds to us like they are clearing out the indie riff-raff and selling us their games for twice the going rate then. Well that's nice.

Wu Wear.

WiiWare, Nintendo's answer to XBLA, has finally been given a launch date in the US and Europe. The service will offer Wii owners original titles (rather than selling shitty NES and C64 roms to them).

The release list is looking a tad bleak but with Assault Heroes 2 coming out on XBLA this week, I'm not sure I really give a toss. Bleoww!

Bioshock Zero.

Gore Verbinski, director of those fucking abysmal Johnny Depp pirate things is all set to direct a movie of hit 360 game 'Bioshock'.

We look forward to seeing Johnny Depp running around the same dank corridors for three hours hitting big daddies with wrenches before going of a playing EDF instead.

Digital Spy, who I just stole this news from, state "In BioShock, gamers control a pilot who crashes into a crumbling underwater utopian city called Rapture". A pilot? Man, Digital Spy don't know shit.

Assault Hero.

With GTA4-related hysteria meaning that Microsoft simply couldn't sanction the release of anything last week, it's nice to know that the sequel Peoww-favourite Assault Heroes is getting a release on the 14th of this month.

So far the trailers are looking like more of the same but with Wanako (arf!) promising the ability to hijack vehicles (including helicopters for SWIV style action) and linkable weapons in co-op mode, AssHeroes 2 is looking like a sure-fire hit.

Big in Japan.

Yep, as the headline says. The PSP, which has pretty much consistently had its arse handed to it by the DS is finally outselling its rival thanks to some Monster Hunter bollocks game.

This is good though. Despite Sony being absolute gash kings recently we do have a bit of a soft spot for the PSP (albeit it only when it's got a custom firmware and a few emulators on it), whilst pretty much hating the tiny silicon guts of the DS.

Still the best.

Whilst Hideo Kojima, creator of the Metal Gear Solid games, has a track record of moaning about Sony's consoles holding him back, it's still pretty remarkable when he's doing it about MGS4 which currently is the only reason anyone would want a PS3.

"Game-wise, it's pretty close to the original vision: you sneak into the battlefield and can choose whether to do a stealth game or interfere with the battle more directly. But the graphic side, things like motion-blending and the size of the map, totally was not accomplished to my original vision - to my satisfaction".

Still, it's still shaping up to look like a bit of a stunner so we'll just chalk this down to Kojima being a bit of a ponce.

Never forgive. Never forget.

As you'll no doubt be aware, the worlds of Mortal Kombat and DC comics are coming together for the latest installment in the never-should-have-gone-3D Mortal Kombat series.

Can't see any of the MK crew doing particularly well against Superman, and of course any game featuring the Man of Steel is usually appalling but anyway for more interesting was a proposed crossover of a much greater magnitude.

Ed Boon, MK's creator, apparently attempted to crossover with Street Fighter back when these two were the only fighting franchises anyone cared about and he still likes the idea.

Personally, I'm still waiting for Renegade vs Way of the Exploding Fist.

Gratuitous Brazilian pic.

So, more controversy for Bully then (although the only real controversy is them releasing it full of bugs). This time it's the Brazilians who have decided that it needs banning for being set in a school.

Apparently they don't want to promote violence in schools. Although they're less averse to having state-sanctioned death squads out killing street children.

God knows what they'd make of Eric firing his catapult at Mr Whacker then.

Rick Allen, yesterday.

Phil Collen (Phil Collins, more like), poncy spandex-clad lead guitarist of nine-limbed 80s ear-botherers Def Leppard, has confirmed that some of the band's shit songs will be appearing on Guitar Hero 4 whilst promoting whatever shit album they're releasing soon on a US radio station.

Turns out he meant Guitar Hero 3 via the hateful medium of DLC. Look out for it on April 24th. And by look out for it, I mean 'avoid like the fucking plague'.

The hype machine rolls on.

Yes, it's GTA4 hype time. Okay, so the it's no surprise that this game will be an 18 certificate but some details have been released as to why. Prostitutes performing oral sex and wanky fun. How very shocking.

According to the BBFC, "What follows is an undetailed portrayal of masturbation, fellatio and intercourse". Undetailed, like the graphics in San Andreas? God... is this even news? LOL @ Peoww.

I'll be more shocked if they can sort out the driving, fighting and shooting to be honest. Still, that's me and thankfully for GTA fans I won't be the one reviewing it.

Shadowrun when it was good.

Shadowrun did alright out of the Peoww community back when we weren't Peoww. At least three or four of the chaps gave the game a fair go and sessions on it weren't uncommon for at least... ooh, a week.

However, it was gash and gash will out. So the game died a peasant's death and is no longer supported by the devs because supporting it would be like supporting Gretna next year.

Still it wasn't the dumbing down of a famous franchise, a rubbish game or even bad promotion that killed Shadowrun. Nope. According to Bill Fulton, the designer of the game, it's the fact that everyone on Xbox Live is a racist twat.

Not the far-from-stellar reviews then?

Gamertag: AnneDaDamaja.

It's all going a bit mad at the moment with the government realising that some parents are letting their kids play 'VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES'. So a new rating system has been announced in order to help said parents, as they presumably buy their games inbetween visits to Greggs the bakers to buy their seven babies piping hot sausage rolls filled with the daily fat allowance of Rik Waller. Whilst wearing pyjamas and getting their backs tattooed.

To make matters worse, the Daily Mail are involved and they enlisted the skills of serial twat Anne Diamond, who seems to think she's some sort of COD4 expert, to review the games most likely to threaten our children. Not that she's got the best record with kids or anything (ouch).

International Karate.

Wii owners can now experience the best of the also-rans in the 8bit format war thanks to the Virtual Console getting two iconic Commodore 64 games.

First up are Uridium (a blisteringly fast horizontal shooter where you crash into things a lot) and International Karate (awful Way of the Exploding Fist rip-off which is only famous for having a quite good sequel).

The games are 500 points each (just over three quid). Or you could just download every single C64 game ever for free and run them on an emulator. Which is effectively all you're doing anyway.

Gertrude = angry.

Christ... slow news week or what? Okay, what's this? Blu-Ray investigated... trade commission... copyright infringement... GERTRUDE?!?

Oh my. Some lady called GERTRUDE Neumark (middle name = Fanny!) is pissed at everyone who has ever used a certain type of diode (whatever) as she patented it back in 1823. Sony getting sued over stealing technology? Whatever next... pre-sliced bread?

Two Worlds to return.

Peoww's favourite guilty pleasure 'Two Worlds' is getting a fully-fledged sequel. 'The Temptation' will be set after the events of the first game and will apparently feature upgraded visuals, more intricate missions, better horseriding and improved voice acting.

According to Miroslaw Dymek, the game's chief dev, "We first envisioned The Temptation as an expansion to the original. However, as we started creating the story and reworking almost every aspect of the game, we realised that we were well on our way to crafting a fully-fledged sequel. Our entire development team is now putting their all into making Two Worlds: The Temptation a game that is far and away better than the original".

If you can get it to run at more than ten frames-per-second that'd be a start Miro.

1942 to return.

Capcom. Bloody hell... we love 'em. From massive hits to Resi 4 and Dead Rising to curios like Killer 7 and Viewtiful Joe, they surely are the most unfuckwittable of publishers these days.

Well, coming soon are super-sexy XBLA updates of Commando, Bionic Commando and 1942. Literally. Cannot. Wait.

Not as cool as The Warriors.

Yawn. Rockstar's extraordinarily blaverage 8mm meets Seven 'em up has finally been cleared for a UK release.

Oh well... it'll give Wii owners something to do I guess. How long until some kid jabs his brother in the eye with the Wiimote?

A bit of Bully.

Hmmm... Bully eh? One of Rockstar's most notorious (for no reason whatsoever) games has made it to the 360 at a suspiciously reduced price and is apparently a mess of bugs.

Rockstar have confirmed a patch is due out soon. Peoww will be reviewing it for next sunday. It won't be as good as Skool Daze though. FACT.

Gary Gygax.

Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons and Dragons (the role playing thing rather than the ace cartoon of the 80s with the unicorn and Venger) has died (or at least run out of hitpoints).

Whilst we've not dabbled in all that oddness, Gygax's work has clearly been a massive influence on gaming. Especially Two Worlds which is Peoww's new favourite game ever.

So a big R.I.P. to Gary. Well met.

Blue Ray FTW!

Oh well, after all the Hollywood majors decided to adopt Sony's stupidly-named Blu Ray format poor old Toshiba have finally lost their biggest ally.

Yep, Microsoft have stopped producing those little HD-DVD add-ons which is the final nail in the coffin. Sony will be pissing themselves so make sure you do the right thing and just stick with your regular old DVDs.

Ninty Freeloader.

Datel, who are little scamps, have released a Wii version of their famous Freeloader device which allows UK Wii owners to play games from other regions.

So now we can all experience the lack of decent titles from other continents. Sweet!

Oh he likes you.

Details of Sega's upcoming Aliens game have been revealed and at least two members of the Peoww team are literally covered in some sort of secreted resin.

Essential details. Set on the Sulaco, squad-based and includes four player co-op. It's literally going to be amazing. It has to be.

Fenix to return?

Gears of War, possibly the greyest thing this side of Poland, is rather unsuprisingly getting a sequel. It's coming out in November, two years after the original 'Emergence Day' (their words not mine).

Fans of joyless achievements, horrible ranked matches, glitch exploitation and overall chav gaming will be in raptures. 'OMG SHOTGUN NOOB!' etc etc etc.

Aeroshit.

Aerosmith, who have two very shit guitarists, are going to get their own full Guitar Hero title.

Still, it'll probably be quite an easy game seeing as how every Aerosmith song from the last twenty years has been a fucking powerballad.

I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Your love is sweet misery
I was cryin' just to get you
Now I'm dyin' cause I let you
Do what you do to me

Jesus fucking (with a G) Christ, LORD. Why do you tolerate this aboration on your planet?

Fuck off Aerosmith. Just literally fuck off.

You too Activision. Take fucking Tony Hawk with you as well.

A fat lady.

Think you've maxed out that 360 game? Think again. This week has been full of extra achievements for you to shell out for. Microsoft, please... in the name of all that is holy... please fuck right off.

Oh well, here's the latest bunch...

Gripshift (the fantastic game that no-one bought). 350 pts for three new achievements (plus subgames and tracks).

Overlord (Overlol). 800 pts for ten new achievements (single player content plus an extra 400 pts for some multiplayer shit that thankfully is without new achievements).

PGR4. 400 pts for ten achievements (yawn).

Does GTA let you throw cars at folk?

Whilst the world waits for GTA4 to surface so they can spend weeks plodding around the gaming equivalent of a Steven Seagal movie, fans of fun games will be delighted to know that Crackdown may be getting a sequel.

Microsoft's Shane Kim said all this '"We own the Crackdown intellectual property. We have a great partnership with Real Time Worlds, and they're pursuing a different path from a company perspective... any intellectual property that we own can always be on the table and the good news is that we happen to own the Crackdown IP'.

In case you missed it. Microsoft own the Crackdown IP. Just in case it wasn't clear that Microsoft own the Crackdown IP.

Directed at Sony presumably.

Capello, in that lovely way that anyone over fifty loves to generalise gaming, has banned England players from using Playstations. We'll assume he means games in general although I bet if you get Ashley Cole and David James rooming together they'll fire up some two player Slitherlink.

Peoww can't help thinking that if McClaren had allowed his midfield to play SWOS we may have strung together some passes against Croatia...